# Rediscovering My Voice: A Journey Through Past Writing
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Chapter 1: The Hidden Treasures of My Writing Journey
As I navigated the delightful chaos of my computer’s folders, I stumbled upon a solitary document nestled deep within a section labeled ‘Medium stories.’ Given my penchant for organization—having once worked as a Time Management Coach and moved eight times across three states in nine years—I found my Outlook files to resemble the aftermath of a child's play session. It was clear that my next rainy day would be devoted to decluttering.
I had been consistently writing, primarily a newsletter dedicated to my hundred or so email subscribers, but that habit faded away two years ago. My daily journaling had transformed into lengthy emails filled with life’s dramas, sent to my best friend who had relocated far away. Though not in different time zones, it felt as though we were worlds apart. Phone conversations often fell short, but writing provided a sense of relief, a way to share my unfiltered self without judgment.
Numerous factors contributed to my writing hiatus, and I’m certain that as I resume publishing—something I’m committed to—the reasons will come to light. Upon opening the long-forgotten document, a striking title caught my eye: How ‘traceybyfire’ on Medium inspired me to write authentically about my truths.
Initially, I thought I had saved someone else's compelling article. What a great title! I felt a spark of motivation—this was just the inspiration I needed to conquer the Medium platform once and for all. So, I began to read.
To my surprise, I realized just a few lines in that the words were mine. I felt a visceral reaction, a mix of inspiration and embarrassment that made me shrink back in my chair. Old writing has that effect—it's like a gut punch that brings on waves of cringe.
Writing instructors often encourage viewing your work through the lens of a reader rather than a writer, promising it will illuminate new insights. While this advice is easier said than done, I decided to give it a try.
Section 1.1: The Challenge of Self-Reflection
In that moment, I was both exhilarated and mortified. I had been enjoying what I believed were the words of someone else until the stark reality of my own voice struck me like nails on a chalkboard. The discomfort was palpable; I’m the person who avoids listening to my own voicemail, opting instead for the generic message.
I wondered how podcasters and audiobook narrators manage to endure such experiences. The rapid onset of my inner critic felt like a sabotage, tarnishing what could have been a nostalgic exploration of my past work.
Determined to push through, I opted to set aside my judgment and allow myself to read on. Curiosity propelled me forward.
Subsection 1.1.1: Revisiting the Past
On June 7, 2019, I penned a draft that captured my journey with Medium: Since discovering this platform earlier this year, I've found myself reading more than I anticipated. In the past 18 months, I’ve procrastinated through countless books, telling myself that after just one more, I would finally return to writing.
The truth is, I had self-published a memoir in August 2018, a labor of love that took nearly two decades to cultivate. Despite assurances from friends and family that I was a natural writer, I never believed it. Therefore, I committed myself to mastering the craft. My memoir was an honest portrayal—raw and unfiltered.
The journey of learning to write is one thing; grappling with emotional truths is an entirely different challenge. That lesson cost me nearly $45,000, but I emerged wiser. I poured everything I had into my memoir, sharing truths that felt as vital as my next breath.
The joy of completing something significant was overwhelming, a rare victory in a life where plans often went awry. I did all the right marketing, saw initial success, yet my books remained in storage, gathering dust—much like my own truths.
Then I discovered traceybyfire on Medium. She became my new inspiration, leading me to a community of writers who were fearless in sharing their stories. I joined with enthusiasm, eager to start writing again. But soon after, I found myself retreating, caught in a cycle of hesitation.
Chapter 2: A New Perspective
In Lyin' Eyes (2018 Remaster), we find themes of reflection and the complexities of truth, mirroring my journey of self-discovery through writing.
The song Lyin' Eyes (2013 Remaster) encapsulates the struggle of facing one’s past, a sentiment that resonates deeply with my own narrative as I sift through memories and writing.
As I reflect on the years that have passed—balancing family, marriage, and life’s ups and downs—I realize that while I’ve lost time in writing and storytelling, I’ve gained invaluable life experiences.
This old draft has rekindled my motivation, offering fresh perspectives. I now see a multitude of writing prompts and ideas hidden within those past words, waiting to be explored. It’s a treasure trove of inspiration that I’m ready to uncover.