A 21-Day Challenge: Overcoming Procrastination and Self-Doubt
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Chapter 1: Embracing the Challenge
In my recent experience of launching live videos to tackle my perfectionist tendencies and combat procrastination, I think I deserve some applause. I successfully went live for 21 days straight! Here’s my reflection on the journey:
If you were hoping to hear that I gained numerous views, attracted followers, or got monetized, I apologize for any letdown. To be honest, my videos barely garnered any attention. But don’t worry; I've traveled a significant distance within myself and have valuable insights to share.
The initial days proved to be the most challenging. Each day, I battled the temptation to give up. I pondered the purpose of my efforts. With such a small following, who would even consider watching? Nevertheless, I take pride in my dedication. Once I commit to a goal, I follow through.
So, I forged ahead with my live sessions. To my surprise, the words began to flow naturally despite my initial fears. I became absorbed in the moment, even finding myself tearful on camera—a level of vulnerability I hadn’t anticipated.
I genuinely thought I had done well! Yet, the absence of viewers crushed my expectations. Not a single person tuned in, and I felt like I was spiraling downward. Why wasn’t anyone able to see or hear me? This experience resurfaced memories of childhood emotional neglect, where seeking validation was a difficult endeavor.
As the touching melody of my favorite Disney film, Mulan, played softly in the background, I looked into the mirror.
"Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection Someone I don't know?"
(Reflection Song by Christina Aguilera)
Tears streamed down my face as I longed for the love and attention I had desired in my early years. In that moment, I chose to comfort my inner child, recognizing and embracing her pain.
However, there’s a silver lining: I am evolving. While I cannot change the past or select different parents, I can become the nurturing figure I needed back then.
I whispered to that wounded inner child, “Even if no one sees or hears you, I am here! I see you, I hear you. You are worthy.” With this affirmation, I continued my live sessions, seeking validation from within.
For 21 consecutive days, I persisted. Each day, I grew increasingly comfortable, appearing relaxed in pajamas, without makeup, and speaking candidly. After each session, I took time to listen to myself, providing the affirmations I craved. I even left supportive comments on my own videos as a sign of self-appreciation.
Although these actions didn’t amplify my follower count, they initiated a significant journey of personal growth. I embarked on a path of healing and self-discovery, loosening the chains of perfectionism.
On the 22nd day, I went live once more, sharing my passion for writing and my aspirations to become an author—not to overcome challenges, but simply because it brings me joy.
I took a significant step forward by creating my first promotional video for my upcoming FREE biography novel, "Good Girls Cry, Bad Girls Moan," after a long battle with procrastination.
Ultimately, I came to understand that what my inner child truly craved was not external validation but rather my acknowledgment and acceptance of her as she is. It’s not about numbers or seeking approval from others; it's about embracing authenticity and discovering fulfillment by being true to oneself.
Thank you for reading, seeing, and accepting me. If you’re interested in following my journey, I invite you to sign up for my newsletter!
See you soon!
Lalita Janette