Look for External Guidance

When my client seeks answers from others, she inadvertently hinders her ability to hear her inner voice of wisdom. She prioritizes the opinions and insights of others over her own. Instead of reflecting inward, she saturates her mind with external noise. When she remembers to pause, calm herself, and allow her thoughts to settle, she gains her own insights and reconnects with what she already knows, rather than spiraling into overthinking.

Overthinking the Situation

I once worked with an eight-year-old who was exceptionally studious. His mother brought him to me due to his anxiety and physical symptoms during test preparation. Next to me, I had a glitter-filled rubber ball. When he sat down, I asked, “I bet you don’t go to school?”

“I do,” he insisted.

“Then I bet you don’t pay attention in class?”

“I do!”

“Then you already know everything that will appear on the test. The questions will only cover what you've learned. Revising is merely a way to jog your memory.” I shook the glitter ball, explaining, “This is your mind when you panic and struggle to remember.” He observed the swirling glitter and agreed, “It is.” I held the ball still until the glitter settled. “And this,” I said, showing him the clear ball, “is what happens when you let your thoughts calm down. You create space for new ideas, including the knowledge you already possess.”

This applies to you as well. When your mind races trying to find solutions, it becomes cluttered with noise. However, when you allow your thoughts to quiet, you can make room for clarity.

Avoid Overemphasizing Decisions

Unless you’re in a high-stakes situation like a character in a thriller film, you likely aren’t faced with life-or-death choices. Many people struggle with decision-making because they feel compelled to choose the “right” path. However, no one intentionally opts for the “wrong” choice, so every decision you make is, by default, the best one at that moment.

If you're uncertain about a significant life decision—like whether to marry, switch jobs, or relocate—perhaps it's not the right moment to decide. If a job offer has a tight deadline and you feel unsure, consider what not accepting the offer entails versus what accepting it would mean. Instead of listing pros and cons (though that can help some), tune in to what your intuition suggests.

Reflect on the motivations behind your decisions. Are you trying to satisfy someone else's expectations or merely following what seems sensible? Daily choices—what to wear, what to eat, whether to stay in or go out—might seem trivial, but remember that the significance of a decision largely resides in how you perceive it.

Trust Your Instincts

Isn't it frustrating when someone tells you, "You’ll know when you know"? How can you know if you're unsure? Throughout my career, I've had numerous clients express doubts about their relationships. Often, these doubts stem from desires for different partners or concerns about their current partner's ambition.

Many clients have ended their relationships only to find new partners without the same uncertainty. They describe their new connections as feeling “right” without question or doubt. When things feel correct, there’s no need for over-analysis; you simply know.

Embrace Inaction

Sometimes, the best course of action is to do nothing. This doesn't mean turning into a couch potato. Rather, it’s about taking a moment to pause and let your inner wisdom guide you. You may think you lack wisdom, but I believe everyone possesses it; you might just not be attuned to it.

My inner voice often reminds me to hydrate instead of indulging in a cocktail, but I frequently ignore it. Generally, you know what action to take, even if you resist it. You might find yourself torn between what you feel you should do and what you want to do.

A useful exercise is to flip a coin and commit to the outcome. If it lands on heads when you were hoping for tails, that could reveal your true preference. You may argue that your decision is too significant for such a method, but remember that it’s simply a tool to gauge your feelings.

When clients ask for guidance on what to do in moments of confusion, I advise them to pause. I can’t dictate their actions; my role is to help them uncover their own solutions.

Doing nothing can involve activities like going for a run, taking a bath, reading, or simply enjoying time with a pet. The key is to step away from overthinking and allow answers to emerge naturally.

The first video titled "What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do" offers insights into managing uncertainty and finding your path forward.

The second video with the same title further explores strategies to help you navigate moments when clarity seems out of reach.