Chapter 1: The Saturday Chaos

In my household, Saturdays are always bustling. My son, who resides with us, has his baby over for the weekend, and my husband is also home. With four people moving in multiple directions, plus a couple of cats underfoot, the scene can quickly become chaotic.

Breakfast in the kitchen is a typical scene: my husband insists on preparing a "big breakfast," while the baby sits in her high chair, and her dad is frantically searching for her morning milk bottle. Conversations bounce between what toppings we want on our pancakes and our plans for the day ahead.

While it seems like a moment to treasure, the atmosphere often feels tense. Discontent lingers, and it’s not uncommon for someone to snap at another. Does this resonate with you? I refer to this phenomenon as "Saturday Gridlock."

A gridlock can be defined as a traffic jam that affects a network of streets, leading to frustration and heightened tempers among drivers. In our case, the “streets” are our expectations.

Saturdays can be particularly challenging. We often aim to accomplish an entire week’s worth of tasks and errands within a single day. The mental checklist we create could easily occupy us for at least three Saturdays. As a family, many of our chores involve assisting one another or caring for the baby. During breakfast, each of us is quietly formulating our own exhaustive to-do list.

When one person casually mentions their plans for after breakfast, it feels like they’ve suddenly cut into our lane, forcing us to halt. Tensions rise, and we end up glaring at one another as if they were just another obstacle in our path. This can quickly escalate into frustration or arguments.

So, how can we keep this metaphorical traffic flowing smoothly?

Manage Expectations: Evaluate your expectations and consider eliminating some items. Create space to lend a hand to someone else in your household. Our mental lists can often lean toward selfishness, which is understandable to some degree. However, living with others implies we should also factor in their needs.

Communicate: Your family cannot read your mind. Share your expectations for the day, making sure to acknowledge theirs as well.

Practice Kindness: Coexisting with family, a baby, and shared responsibilities can be complex. Frustration is inevitable. Just because you’re working on managing your expectations and communicating doesn’t mean everyone else is doing the same. Remember to take a deep breath and, if possible, share a smile or a simple act of kindness. Kindness benefits both the giver and the receiver, leading to a calmer environment. And when everyone is calmer, we can navigate through the gridlock much faster.

To alleviate our morning gridlock, we held a brief meeting after breakfast. Each family member shared the top priorities on their mental lists and we collaboratively devised a plan. Apologies were exchanged for any harsh words spoken.

Meanwhile, in another room, the baby was busy filling her diaper and emptying her toy basket. Some family members seem determined to cut us off in this traffic. What can you do?

Teambuilding activity: Traffic Jam game and how to play and how to solve it - YouTube

Chapter 2: Overcoming Obstacles Together

A Surprisingly Gridlocked Sudoku Despite the Empty Grid! - YouTube