Chapter 1: The Illusion of Infinite Passion

After nearly ten years of relentless entrepreneurial enthusiasm, my once insatiable drive and fervent desire to succeed as a coach have come to a sudden halt. I find myself empty, and the most alarming part is that I didn’t foresee this moment.

In my earlier days, I was waking up at 3:30 am for coaching sessions with clients in Australia. I’ve invested a significant amount of money in certifications and business courses. I even almost joined a rather peculiar coaching community in San Francisco in my quest to excel in this field (but that's a tale for another time).

If my younger self were to catch a glimpse of my 33-year-old self today, she would undoubtedly think we had succeeded. Deep down, I know I’ve accomplished what I aimed for at 24. Yet, that realization does little to alleviate my current struggles. The truth is, I am facing a significant challenge.

What "entrepreneur school" fails to teach us is that passion is not an inexhaustible resource. Instead, we're often encouraged to obsessively chase our passions, believing that this pursuit will lead to a life filled with rewards. We envision ourselves as the individuals at gatherings who can enthusiastically discuss our careers, the ones making a meaningful impact while others remain “trapped in cubicles.”

I’ve always prided myself on being “the passionate one.”

However, it has dawned on me recently that passion can dissipate without warning. Relying solely on passion to build a career is akin to constructing a dream home out of sand.

As I approach my mid-30s, I’m gaining a clearer perspective on this entrepreneurial journey. It’s a continuous cycle that can feel isolating, demanding ongoing resilience and adaptability. I once viewed it as an avenue to “make something of myself,” but now it feels more like an unending quest for validation from strangers on the internet.

I no longer wish to prove anything to anyone. I’m weary of fine-tuning my strategies and curating my content. The thought of crafting yet another perfectly branded Instagram post is enough to bring me to tears.

Through therapy, I’ve come to understand that my struggles stem from misplaced self-worth. Similar to my battle with an eating disorder in the mid-2000s, I’ve linked my value to something external. In the past, it was about my appearance and thinness; more recently, it’s been about building my coaching business. Relying on external factors for self-worth feels gratifying until the façade crumbles, leaving you to confront your true self.

Establishing this business was my means of feeling worthy, of believing I am enough. It’s intriguing how one underlying issue can only partially heal, evolving into a different form of the same problem.

So I ask: was it ever genuine passion to begin with? Or was it merely low self-worth in action?

When is passion truly authentic? Does it stem from a desire to “become” more than we already are? Where is the boundary between passionately cultivating a career and suffering from low self-esteem? Is it when someone fully embraces their “enoughness” that authentic passion emerges? Or is that the moment we can simply relax and exist?

This video explores the contrast between harmonious passion and obsessive compulsion, shedding light on how to channel our passions effectively.

Section 1.1: Understanding Self-Worth

In this section, we delve into the concept of self-worth and how it influences our passions and pursuits.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Role of External Validation

Chapter 2: The Illusion of Self-Worth

This video questions whether self-worth is merely an illusion and how it shapes our experiences and motivations.