Understanding the Impact of Pregnancy Loss

This narrative stems from my personal journey and the sorrow I faced. It is not intended to represent every woman’s experience with pregnancy loss.

When a woman faces the heartache of losing a pregnancy, especially within a family context, she hopes for a simple gesture—someone reaching out to check on her. A brief phone call to inquire about her well-being means more than you might realize. While she may respond with, "I'm fine," to avoid breaking down in tears, that small act of kindness will leave a lasting impression. Your thoughtfulness can forge an unwavering bond in her heart, and she will remember how you reached out, even if it was only for a moment.

What occurs if you choose silence or engage in gossip during family gatherings? When she seems withdrawn or leaves the room during moments filled with laughter and gift-giving, do you criticize her for not participating or for appearing distant? Those moments of insensitivity will not be forgotten.

Experiencing a pregnancy loss in the presence of children—be it your own or others'—can be excruciating. She may find herself longing for the child she lost, feeling a mix of grief and isolation. Although she may put on a brave face and try to smile, her silence speaks volumes.

A gentle reminder: Be compassionate.

Consider the enormity of her loss. She felt the life growing within her, and then it was suddenly gone.

If you find yourself too overwhelmed with responsibilities at the gathering to extend kindness, channel your inner Thumper and simply refrain from saying anything hurtful.

What if the support is absent altogether? If her loss goes unnoticed, you might unwittingly express frustration, saying, "You should just move on." This statement will linger in her memory, a painful reminder of your misunderstanding.

Yet, life will progress. She will eventually find joy again, perhaps even love. You will continue to navigate family events, burdened by your own concerns, and may forget the words you spoke or the gossip you shared. But she will have changed—she will be happier and healthier.

It’s quite possible she may choose to distance herself from family gatherings.

Please choose kindness for those enduring loss. Reflect on how you wish to be perceived.

All of us face loss in some form, and in those moments, we remember how others treated us.

Resources for Support

There are numerous resources available for those coping with pregnancy loss and for their loved ones. If this is a situation within your family, it’s wise to educate yourself on how to provide support.

Opt for kindness when those you care about are in pain. When you face your own loss—regardless of its nature—you will yearn for the same compassion you offered.

Navigating Pregnancy Loss and Finding Hope - In this heartfelt video, the speaker shares personal insights on coping with pregnancy loss and finding a path toward healing.

Breaking the Silence of Pregnancy Loss | Tanika Dillard | TEDxGreenville - Tanika Dillard addresses the often-taboo subject of pregnancy loss, encouraging open dialogue and understanding in support of those affected.