Chapter 1: The Reality of Mental Health Struggles

It’s crucial to recognize that mental health is not a fixed state. Ongoing challenges are part of the journey to recovery.

Trigger and Content Warning: Contains references to eating disorders.

As a community, we must cultivate a more empathetic approach towards those recovering from mental health issues. On a personal level, it’s essential to refrain from judging individuals based on their past struggles with mental health.

Recently, I had a conversation with my close friend Zander, expressing my confusion about the significant changes I've experienced over the years. Four years ago, I felt stable and in control, yet now I find myself feeling as though I've regressed in my mental health journey.

To provide some context, I was an undiagnosed autistic child who faced considerable emotional challenges due to my upbringing. Throughout my teens and twenties, I battled with mental health issues, undergoing intensive talk therapy multiple times and even spending time in a psychiatric ward.

However, by my mid-thirties, my mental health had greatly improved; I had developed meaningful friendships, participated in a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy group, and engaged in various creative pursuits, such as stage managing plays, writing sketch comedy, and co-chairing a major festival—though the latter did lead to significant burnout for me.

Despite living with chronic physical illnesses, I was thriving in many areas of my life. Yet, after getting married and becoming pregnant, I encountered new challenges that strained my mental health.

Before entering eating disorder treatment eight years ago, I endured a tough seven-year period marked by autistic burnout, postpartum hormonal imbalances, and the onset of MCAS, which impacted both my mental and physical well-being. Additionally, the unexpected loss of my best friend to cancer compounded my struggles.

With the support of a long-time friend, I sought treatment for my eating disorders, which included nine months of both inpatient and outpatient care. Although my diagnosis of MCAS was initially overlooked, the treatment ultimately aided my mental health recovery.

Upon completing treatment, I felt revitalized—on medication for the first time in years and experiencing a newfound sense of well-being. However, life soon became more complicated.

My husband faced job instability due to bias against autistic individuals, leading us to the brink of homelessness while grappling with significant debt. Three years ago, I received an autism diagnosis, but financial constraints left me without therapeutic support as I navigated resurfacing trauma. The pandemic further exacerbated my anxiety.

In the past 18 months, following the deaths of my father in December 2022 and my mother in July 2023, my mental health has deteriorated significantly. I've experienced intense bouts of depression, frequent meltdowns, and relapsed into bulimia.

I often feel like I have failed in my recovery, despite the overwhelming circumstances I've faced without adequate support. It's time for me to acknowledge that my mental health is akin to a broken bone needing care and treatment.

Recently, I began seeing a new therapist online, but they lacked an understanding of autism, and I found the sessions unhelpful. I'm now in search of a neurodiversity-affirming therapist and have identified two promising candidates.

It's essential for me to practice self-compassion and avoid labeling myself as a failure. The healthcare system has often let me down, and I did the best I could under the circumstances. Misunderstandings persist about low support needs autistics, who often face challenges that are invisible to others.

Allistic individuals may not fully comprehend the impact of sensory and social trauma on mental health, compounded by other familiar traumas.

Recovery from mental health issues is rarely straightforward; trauma can resurface, leading to setbacks. This isn’t a sign of failure—it's a part of life. New challenges and heartbreak can impede our progress.

As a society, we must foster greater awareness that mental health is fluid and that recovery isn't a linear path. Not everyone can simply address their trauma and move on.

Perhaps, someday, I will find a solution that provides lasting relief, but I remain realistic about mental health. For many, progress may only manifest as incremental improvement and harm reduction, and that's perfectly acceptable. We need to revive a culture of compassion and destigmatize discussions surrounding mental health struggles.

It’s crucial to normalize the experience of faltering, picking ourselves up, and continuing to strive for better mental health.

Section 1.1: The Importance of Compassion

We must recognize the emotional labor involved in mental health recovery and support each other through these challenges.

Subsection 1.1.1: Image of Compassion in Mental Health

Chapter 2: The Role of Therapy in Recovery

This video discusses a man's belief that voices in his head result from an implanted microchip, challenging the notion of mental illness.