A Tribute to the Living Legacy: Decorating Graves with Love
Written on
Chapter 1: The Burden of Grief
In my journey through life, I often see myself as a testament to perseverance and struggle.
This reflection can serve as a reminder of the emotions we grapple with and how they shape our existence.
Section 1.1: The Paradox of Loss
My parents often expressed their wishes against elaborate grave markers.
“Don’t spend money on a place that invites sadness,” my mother would say, emphasizing her aversion to sorrow, even in death.
This sentiment holds an ironic twist; even in passing, she was wary of emotional displays.
To her, feelings equated to a loss of control.
From beyond the grave, she continues to urge us to maintain our composure.
“Please don’t feel you must put on a show for me,” my father echoed, attempting to downplay his absence.
This is a poignant reminder of how, even in their absence, they seem to minimize their own legacies.
I find comfort in believing that my current life, vibrant and filled with experiences, serves as a bold homage to their resting places.
I view myself as a living testament, embodying the essence of the clay figures shaped by their hands.
Subsection 1.1.1: A Son's Embrace
When my grown son envelops me in a tight embrace, whispering reassurances,
“Don’t stress so much; we already know you’re an amazing mom,”
it feels as though he is adorning my father's grave with love and recognition.
Section 1.2: The Ties That Bind
A vibrant cashier at Kohl's once remarked,
“Ooooh wee! That boy looks just like you, honey! You share those same brown eyes!”
In that moment, I felt as though my mother's grave was graced with her spirit through our connection.
As the twilight sky transitions to a salmon hue in my backyard,
I take a moment to pause, letting the evening’s beauty wash over me.
The warmth of those colors reminds me of my father's presence,
infusing my spirit with life and nostalgia.
The fluttering of black-capped chickadees by the feeder,
the playful bunnies hopping across the lawn,
and the aroma of homemade meatballs simmering on a Sunday
all serve to enrich my soul, echoing the love I carry from my parents.
Chapter 2: Celebrating Their Enduring Presence
This first video, "Grave Decorations," beautifully illustrates how we can celebrate those we've lost through meaningful tributes and personal touches.
When we contemplate how to honor the memories of our loved ones,
the question arises: How much is too much when it comes to grave decorations?
In the second video, "When is it Too Much When It Comes to Grave Decorations? Just Give Me 2 Minutes," we explore the delicate balance of remembrance and emotional expression.
I desire for the world to recognize the lasting impact of my parents—who they were and what remains of them in my life.
To me, it feels like a form of magic.
There is no need to travel to a graveyard to honor their memories;
they reside within me, in every moment, and in every space I inhabit.
And in that realization, I find solace rather than sorrow.
Nicole Campbell is a poet, essayist, and memoir writer.
With over two decades spent nurturing a love for literacy in her elementary students, she now collaborates with fellow educators to promote student-centered, research-based curricula focused on literacy and emotional well-being.
Nicole is grateful for the opportunity to build a blended family with her fiancé and their five sons.
She believes sensitivity is her superpower and specializes in writing about challenging emotions in a way that resonates deeply yet remains approachable.
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @DCsdaughter6159