Pause for Reflection

Take a moment to consider the following:

• Do you frequently feel anxious or stressed?
• Are you overwhelmed when unexpected challenges arise?
• Do you find it hard to complete your desired tasks?

Even the most capable individuals can stumble. Stress and anxiety can lurk beneath our composed exteriors, waiting to emerge. My own challenges with managing time and schedules often left me feeling anxious and disheartened.

Years ago, amidst a whirlwind of work commitments, children’s activities, and the usual chaos, I often told myself, "Once this week is over, things will calm down." My husband pointed out that I frequently repeated this phrase. Unfortunately, life never seemed to slow down.

Fast forward to today: life remains hectic. My husband, who is now retired and managing health issues, often interrupts my plans. With grandchildren in the mix, caregiving has introduced its own set of challenges. I often felt lost, as if I was failing everyone around me.

What I failed to realize was that the person I was disappointing most was myself.

Understanding Organization vs. Overwhelm

Being organized and following a schedule can be beneficial, but it can also lead to feeling overwhelmed. When our plans become too rigid, we risk losing momentum and motivation. Life cannot always be neatly scheduled in a planner. Although I love my planner, it often reflects a mix of accomplishments and unfinished tasks. I learned that it serves more as a guideline rather than a strict regimen. When I focused solely on checking off tasks, I noticed that other aspects of my life began to slip away.

Through the chaos and trials, I learned valuable lessons I never anticipated. I came to understand that much of my stress was self-inflicted. Not everything can or should be controlled. Accepting this realization lifted a significant burden from me.

Identifying Self-Inflicted Pressure

Here are some signs that you might be placing unnecessary pressure on yourself:

1. Difficulty Saying No: We all strive to be the best versions of ourselves—be it as a parent, employee, or friend. When your kids want to host sleepovers or your boss asks for extra work after a tiring week, saying yes can lead to exhaustion. Remember, the most important person to prioritize is yourself.
2. Procrastination: Many of us underestimate the time we have in a day. Similar to how I would scramble to finish a report just as it was due, waiting until the last minute creates stress and prevents us from being present for unexpected moments of joy.
3. Overscheduling: I often filled my to-do list, believing that completing numerous tasks would provide a sense of achievement. However, when I couldn't finish everything, it left me feeling defeated and drained.
4. Neglecting Self-Care: I can’t count how many times I worked late into the night, fueled by stale coffee and unhealthy snacks, only to repeat the cycle the next day.

Finding Balance in Life

Here are the steps I've taken to cultivate a more balanced life:

• Embrace Your Limits: I am not a superhero. Acknowledging that it’s okay to say no is crucial and not catastrophic.
• Avoid Last-Minute Rushes: Anticipate interruptions by starting projects ahead of time, allowing for unexpected events.
• Schedule Downtime: I now intentionally leave free time in my daily agenda for relaxation—be it spontaneous phone calls, friendly visits, or simply enjoying a quiet moment with a cup of tea.
• Prioritize Rest: I recognize that I deserve days without commitments and prioritize quality sleep.

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