Blaming Others

There are countless aspects of life beyond our control. While we can choose a film to watch, we cannot dictate how much we will enjoy it. Similarly, we can decide to be kind, but we cannot control others' reactions. The challenge arises when we let our dissatisfaction lead to blaming others.

I used to constantly seek someone to blame for my mood swings or misfortunes. Yet, I learned that this approach never resolved anything. Even if we pinpoint someone responsible for a negative outcome, it ultimately changes nothing. By letting go of blaming others, we can focus on finding solutions. For instance, instead of blaming a film’s director for a bad movie, we can search for a new one that we might enjoy. Shifting this mindset is a more productive use of our time.

Seeking Validation from Others

Overcoming the habit of seeking approval has been particularly challenging for me because I have an inherent desire to be right. The fear of failure often drove me to seek external validation for my actions. However, this behavior became increasingly draining as I found myself altering my actions to meet others' expectations.

This need for validation often stems from a lack of self-confidence. It’s crucial to recognize that only you can determine what is best for you, outside of professional contexts.

Lack of Passion

Many believe that passion is unnecessary for achieving goals, relying instead on self-discipline alone. While this may yield financial success, it can also lead to long-term dissatisfaction.

In my journey, I discovered the importance of balancing what I enjoy with what I believe is best for me. Initially, I focused on back-end programming, which, despite its financial rewards, did not bring me joy. Three years ago, I transitioned to front-end development, which not only increased my income but also allowed me to engage in work I genuinely love.

Lack of Empathy

It’s easy to assume that everyone shares our experiences, leading us to believe that we can motivate others by encouraging them to act as we do. However, this mindset often backfires.

For example, I once criticized a classmate for not submitting assignments on time. It was only later that I learned he was caring for a sick parent at home. My comments were not only unhelpful but potentially harmful. Understanding the realities of others' lives is essential for being truly supportive.

Absolutism Mentality

Moral absolutism posits that actions are inherently right or wrong, disregarding context. This rigid perspective can lead to unfair judgments of others based on our own beliefs.

Adopting an absolutist mindset caused me to distance myself from friends who were struggling through challenges. I learned that people can change if they choose to, and labeling someone based on a single action is unjust. Everyone deserves the opportunity for growth and improvement.

Final Thoughts

Transforming these toxic behaviors has significantly enhanced my happiness and inner peace. I now approach life with a better understanding of others, uphold my principles, and prioritize my well-being over societal judgments.

By evaluating our behaviors, we can pave the way for personal growth and a more profound understanding of how to support others instead of judging them. Remember, no one is inherently good or bad; we are all simply people who make choices.

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In this insightful video, "8 Signs You Might Be Toxic And Tips to Change," you'll learn about subtle behaviors that can negatively impact your relationships and well-being, alongside actionable strategies for improvement.

"4 Toxic Behaviors that Tear Relationships Apart" by Marc and Angel delves into specific actions that can undermine your connections with others and offers practical advice on fostering healthier interactions.