The Ideal Doctor: A Personal Journey Through Ageism in Healthcare
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Chapter 1: Finding a Compassionate Doctor
While many older adults feel unheard by their physicians, with a staggering 32% reporting their doctors don't listen, I have found a remarkable exception.
AGEISM
During my last visit, the intake nurse measured my blood pressure and then instructed, "Now, let's check your weight." As I approached the scale, she said, "Please step on it facing the other way." I thought it was odd, but I complied and started laughing at the situation.
This was yet another appointment with Dr. Lau (a pseudonym). Each time I leave her office, I feel revitalized — significantly better than when I entered. She listens intently, akin to Sherlock Holmes, as she types rapidly at her computer. Her focus on me is exceptional.
Dr. Lau dresses casually, favoring tights, a knit top, and Hoka sneakers, and she opts out of the traditional white coat. Her high energy, positivity, and empathy shine through. She radiates confidence and expertise, making me feel at ease in her office. I have complete faith in her care, and I can't imagine switching to another provider as long as she's there.
Although my health maintenance organization would likely want more doctors like her, research shows she is a rare find in the medical landscape. A 2004 study titled "Barriers to Health Care Access Among the Elderly and Who Perceives Them" revealed that nearly one-third of elderly patients feel that their healthcare providers are unresponsive to their concerns.
Dr. Lau is a stark contrast to this statistic.
At 79, I appreciate that Dr. Lau never resorts to patronizing language or assumes I have hearing issues. She doesn’t simplify her speech or talk down to me. Instead, she treats me with the respect I deserve, as an intelligent adult. In her presence, I feel acknowledged and valued.
Humor in Healthcare
Recently, I emailed Dr. Lau to confirm my appointment, humorously admitting my reluctance to face the scale. When I arrived, her assistant instructed me to step on the scale backward. I chuckled, recalling my email, and realized this was Dr. Lau’s way of easing my anxiety about the scale.
Her thoughtful attention to detail and kindness are just a few reasons I admire her. During our last session, Dr. Lau devoted forty minutes to discussing my lab results, which were generally good, although my A1C was at the upper limit of normal. With a European vacation approaching, I shared my goal to lose 30 pounds by September.
She suggested Metformin, a medication that could lower my A1C and potentially help with weight loss, sharing her own positive experience with it. I felt comfortable discussing side effects with her, and after deciding to try it, I picked up my prescription that same day. So far, I have experienced no adverse effects.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and this article should not be construed as medical advice. I am merely sharing my personal experience with my exceptional physician.
Ageism in Healthcare
In her insightful book, Breaking The Age Code, Dr. Becca Levy discusses the derogatory terms often used for older patients. Pioneer gerontologist Robert N. Butler noted that older hospital patients were referred to as "GOMERS" — an acronym for "Get out of my emergency room." Such language dehumanizes older individuals, a sentiment echoed by medical staff who sometimes use terms like "crinklies" or "bed blockers."
While I have yet to experience this kind of ageism directly, perhaps due to my current health, I had the fortune of meeting Dr. Lau nine years ago when she was covering for my doctor. I was so impressed by her warmth and attentiveness that I immediately asked her to be my primary care physician.
If you are older but still active, I urge you to educate yourself about ageism, starting with Dr. Levy's book. Prepare yourself to advocate for your needs as you age. If you are frail and feel marginalized, consider bringing someone with you to medical appointments.
The world can be unforgiving to the elderly. Trust your instincts and prioritize your well-being.
Gary
March 2024
Chapter 2: Personal Experiences with Healthcare
In the video "My First 7 Days Working As A Doctor | Vlog," the presenter shares their initial experiences and challenges faced in the medical field, shedding light on the importance of compassion in patient care.
The second video, "My First 6 Months as a Doctor (what it's really like)," offers a candid look into the realities of being a doctor, emphasizing the value of empathy and understanding in healthcare.